In the wee hours of the morning, I reach over to the nightstand for my water bottle to soothe my dry and sore throat, which is slowly recovering from a bout of tonsillitis. I can’t find it. Right. It’s in THE CAR. It was a restless night and every shift to find a better position moved the sheet over my skin, sending raw pain up and down my legs and arms. My groggy mind registers it. Right. Multiple abrasions on my arms, hands and legs from falling. While chasing THE CAR.
So, it wasn’t a bad dream after all. I think I knew that, even in my sleepy state. But a girl can still hope, right? Yesterday, our car was stolen. Our uninsured-against-theft Toyota Prado was driven out of a parking lot right before our very eyes. I celebrated Valentine’s Day with the love of my life unsuccessfully chasing after our car, making a big scene in the parking lot, making statements to the police, filling out forms, getting doctored from the hardware store first aid kit, making and taking phone calls and sending news to people.
The irony of it also being Ash Wednesday and the beginning of the Lenten season is not lost on us either. Giving up something to focus better on God. Seeking God in a fresh way to better understand the reason for the cross and the resurrection. Understanding God’s love better than the year before. Denying ourselves so we’re less likely to deny Him. Giving up our car certainly wasn’t voluntary and if given the chance to go back, I’d certainly change things to try to keep it from happening. But, it has driven us to our knees. Again. But, we are not on our knees in agony and despair. Yes, we have asked God for mercy and a miracle. But we are on our knees in gratitude; knowing things could have been worse, knowing this could have happened somewhere else where we didn’t have a place and a group to support us through this. We are on our knees recognizing that God is still God and He is still good and that somehow this will be okay.
My 11 eleven-year-old said it well last night. “Mommy, I am sorry our car got stolen and I wish it didn’t happen. But I thought I would be a lot more sad and upset than I am. It’s okay. I just know it’s going to be okay.” So true. We all wish yesterday had played out differently and we have shed tears and we have felt pangs of anxiety and we have replayed the moment multiple times. But overall, we are at peace. Every time I remember something that was in the car I feel sad and frustrated. Every hour that goes by without news that our car has been found leaves me a bit angry- but mostly because I’m angry that people can get away with this.
But, we can rest in Him. God knows all about this. He knows what the best plan is now, moving forward. It’s a huge financial loss. It’s an emotional blow. It’s a terrible inconvenience. And it’s messed up our ministry projects schedule. But somehow, some way, in His way, it will work out and it will be okay.